Idiot: Sir, being a foodie, have you been to Flurys ???
Person 1: But of course, and so has almost everyone in town
Idiot: Sir, may I ask you something? Why do you go to that place? I heard, the experience is fantastic- you get a slice of old colonial Calcutta
Person 1: Ahhh mmmm errr yes, you may say that
Idiot: Sir, the food must be fantastic. I’ve heard they make some nice coffee also.
Person 1: yes Mr Idiot. I can fully agree with you on that part. They serve something called Viennese Coffee (basically American coffee with milk froth floated ) and it’s damn good. Pair it with one portion of their Croissant (they even slightly warm it and serve with butter and jam) and you’re good to go
Idiot: Anything else is there do you recommend sir?
Person 1: yes, their chicken sandwich and even Tuna Sandwich is quite good. It’s one of those typical old school sandwiches where there was no overdose of mayonnaise and those leaves…… only meat/ fish stuffed inside toasts and tastes like pure heaven
I’m sorry, but …
Idiot: Anything else sir?
Person 1: Yes, Reach the place, register your name and let it be on the mercy of the management. Find your table and again pray to god that someone comes forward and offers you water…..
Idiot: But sir, I understand they’re supposedly good, in fact one of the best in their service standards, being one of those high-key pricey places
Person 1: You bloody idiot, how many times do I have to tell you that for that service, you do have to visit the place and tolerate them for at least 20 times and then, on a good day, they’ll act like what they’re supposed to be
Idiot: Sir, please don’t be over-critical. There’s always a good day and a bad day for any outlet.
Person 1: Yes, but firstly, not when you’re paying 430/- for 2 cups of coffee and 1 portion of croissant and secondly, not when a trained waiter doesn’t bother to use salver to bring the coffee and upon asking (by my friend, who’s by sheer chance, VP operations of a leading hotel in Kolkata) tries to convince us of his logic (“If I use the salver, the coffee might spill….. “)
Idiot: Sir, I heard their bakery is one of the best in town.
Person 1: It used to be Mr idiot, it used to be. Nostalgia is the keyword here. When there was hardly any competition, when fine bakeries didn’t come out in this city of joy- they might have been. But, nowadays, take away nostalgia and lots of Goliaths will be killed by Davids. And, you might like to purchase a lottery ticket if you order for a pastry from there and get it fresh (not stale, I mean to say)
My personal opinion … purely personal
Idiot: Sir, any final suggestion? Should I go or shouldn’t I go
Person 1: Please go Mr. Idiot- please go. You’ve long forgotten those days when snobbery was the in-thing and was appreciated widely. But, even if you go, try their Viennese Coffee and sandwich. They’re the Casablancas who’s still fighting to save the ship apart from their lone warrior- Ms. Nostalgia. Still, you’ll see a slice of Kolkata from behind those beautiful frilled curtains but please don’t expect anything much from the food. An expectation, when unfulfilled, is painful at my age.
Idiot (after a few minute’s silence….. ): I can understand sir. But, this might be a bad day in their life. Shit happens
Person 1: I’m telling you this after maybe my 40th visit. This used to be the place where my father used to take me to purchase that Christmas cake, where I used to take my girlfriends to show them my style and today I feel bad to see them at this stage.
Idiot: Understood sir. Let’s pray for their health and though hardly anybody cares to listen to feedback nowadays, I hope they’ll get well soon.
Person 1: Amen……
Bon apetit !!!
Comments and critics welcome.
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Went through the entire write up. Must say that you have a lot of guts as u pointed out certain facts which we have been observing but just that we were not vocal enough. Congratulations!
Thanks. But then they were facts
OMG! That was awsome.
The cakes are so dry…my friends went on appreciating the cakes even after eating it…my husband told …”chai er dokan e better cake pawoa jai”…I was at a loss for word…Nice piece Mr Lahiri.